1. From the IT department at work: We will try harder not to make you feel stupid. But just restart.
2. From Dangote: ‘Gotta spread some wealth around. Want a Balmain closet and some shoes to go on it?’
3. From Chris Brown, : That’s it. From now on, I’m only dating non celebrities from Africa’
4. From your boss: ‘I promise, no more 6 P.M. meetings unless I’m serving pizza and shawarma’
5. From every man at every bar ever: ‘ I will never order you a leg spreader, a mountain dew me, or a slippery nipple again.’
What do you think is missing or what should be added?